Writing: Emma

I am starting a story. I don't know how it will end but this is how it is starting. It is still a rough draft. I just want to know if this is something you find intriguing. Something you would want to read the whole of. Here it is:
     It was cold and dark outside on this particular winter afternoon. The winds were sneaking under Emma’s scarf and blanket, chilling her to the bone, as she ran to the barn, blind with fear as to what she’d find. Just moments before her dash outside she had heard a scream coming from the barn. She got there and her dad was already there, standing stiff and pale looking into one of the horse stalls. Emma was afraid something had happened to one of the horses. Emma thought he looked like he had seen a ghost. She walked closer to him. Her fear quickly turned to worry when he waved her out of the way as she drew nearer. Neither he nor she had said a word but she knew she needed to stay away. She backed up not sure what to think. She could not gather her thoughts. She sat down. Her dad pulled out his cell phone and started to call 911. Emma’s fears soon turned from toughts of the well being of her horses to the well being of her family. She sat there against a stall door shaking. She soon realized the only one in the barn with her, as far as she knew, was her father. She jumped up and dashed out of the barn at back to the house. She ran upstairs to her sisters’ bed room. Little Grace was fast asleep in her bed. This gave Emma some relief. But then she realized she did not know where her mother was. She ran to her mother’s bed room down the hall. She looked in and no one was there. Her heart started racing. She ran to the bathroom and then back down stairs to the kitchen and the living room. Still nothing. She sat down on the middle of the living room floor and cried. Up until this moment she had kept her wits about her. Even though she did not know what had happened she knew it was bad. She heard the ambulance drive up now. She could not make herself move yet. She just waited and cried. The tears streamed down her face like they never had before. She thought about what she saw in the barn. She now understood her dads’ stiff look. It scared her. It scared her not knowing what was going on but venturing out and finding out the truth was too much for her to even think about at the moment, non the less attempt. As all these thoughts were running through her mind and the tears running down her cheek her dad ran in through the back door. He called for Emma franticly but softly, so as not to wake Grace. Emma tried to clear her throat as best as she could but her yes came out quiet and cracked. Her dad came into the living room helped Emma stand up and hugged her with a firm encouraging embrace. He turned her to face him and looked her in the eye and said. . .


Please get past the cliché introduction and tell me what you think about the rest.
The Thriving Cowgirl