Finding peace in indecision and uncertain futures

Wow! Long title! But it really gets to the point of this post!

So! Let me start with a question instead of ending with one on this post. What is something you are indecisive about in life right now? How do you find peace about it? Is your future unclear right now? How do you find peace with that?

Now here is my answer to all those questions! In my wealth of knowledge I have come up with a very believable conclusion!

Are you ready?

Drum roll!

Here is my answer: I don't know. Pray.

Really, I came up with that all on my own! Are you proud? Okay! Enough kidding! (This is why I should not blog sleep deprived) Serious! What are the things you are indecisive about right now?

Have you ever felt like there is this long trail through the woods, a trail that is your life, and you start to follow it but somehow can only see about 10 feet in front of you? You know that it is the right trail! But you just can't see as far ahead as you would like? Yep. I'm there.

I don't know what I am going to major in at college! That stresses me a little!

I am still not sure what college I am going to! That is a bit nerve wracking!

What am I going to do out of college? I don't even know where I will be in life then!

How will I pay for college?

Do I need to go to college?

Will I grow old and never marry?

Will I ever have children?

Will I adopt?

Will I ever get to open a summer camp like I want?

Will I be lucky enough to spend my life working with kids?

Will I ever go back to Ukraine?

Will I make it through this busy school year?

What is God's plan for my life in the long run?

How am I to minister to others not just now but in the future?

Will I leave a legacy for God?

All of these things may seem so far in the future or even just silly! But they are all so important to me! I still don't know where my life is leading! And for me that is hard! I like control! I like knowing what is going to happen when! It doesn't even have to be the way I want it to! It just needs to be in a way that I can put on my schedule! :) All this uncertainty fills me with fear! And in reality it shouldn't! Because I know my God has all of this in his hands! Even if I knew all of my life and had it planned out in front of me it would still be in God's control! That is very comforting to know. And something I really need to remember! No matter what he holds my life in his hand! So praying for peace about it and guidance on how to act and follow his plan is really where I need to focus.

Please tell me what are the things that are uncertain in your life or what you are indecisive about! I would love to pray for you!

Citadel Girlfriend

So for the most part I want to keep this part of my life off my blog and just in my personal life but I just have to share this! hehe! My boyfriend started school at the Citadel almost a week ago now. All the freshman are called knobs because they have to have their heads shaved so close their poor little heads look like doorknobs. They are also called fourth class cadets. But that does not pertain to this poem. Someone named Nicky Moise wrote a poem about being a knob. I keep it on my bulletin board. :) No matter what a crappy day I've had it reminds me it could be worse! And that my boyfriend is really going through hell right now! (They call the first week hell week)

I’m a Knob

I rise when I hear the Bugle blow,

How in the hell, I’ll never know.

But dressing myself in ten minutes flat,

I’ll never see the sense in that.

            But I’m a knob, so I do it.

My back is broken and my arms are sore;

I feel so numb I can’t find the floor;

My eyes hurt like their filled with clay;

Only a fool would live this way.

            But I’m a knob, so I do it.

I climb into my pants and they fit so tight

The feeling resembles an alligator bite.

And I’ll never understand the colors they chose;

Nobody in their right mind would wear such clothes.

            But I’m a knob, so I do it.

“Uniform of the Day” is just a big bunch of words;

And wearing pants under the armpits is for the birds.

Those things they call shoes look four sizes to big;

And wearing gloves in the summertime I just don’t dig.

            But I’m a knob, so I do it.

I pull in my chin and I run down the stairs;

I’m so bald I can count every one of my hairs.

Though I shined my shoes less than six hours ago,

I play hell trying to tell my fat sergeant so.

            But I’m a knob, so I do it.

Why they call it breakfast has really got me beat;

I always thought breakfast was a time to eat.

I think the “food” was prepared for a fasting monk;

It takes a cast iron stomach to digest that junk.

            But I’m a knob, so I do it.

So I’m sleepy and I’m hungry and I look like a fool;

But I know someday I’ll get used to this school.

I guess it’s a lesson you learn along the way:

If you’re dumb enough to come here, you’re dumb enough to stay.

Nicky Moise

El Cid-Knob Year

It kind of makes me laugh and it makes me pray. a lot.

I kind of thought I would play with that poem a little. Mine is not very well written and mostly written in fun although there is some truth to it. :) Enjoy!

I’m a Knob’s Girlfriend

I jump when I hear my cell phone ring,

In case he may have caused that ding.

Dying for just a five minute chat,

Most girls see no sense in that.

            But I’m a knobs girlfriend, so I do it.

I miss him to my very core,

That’s something that I can’t ignore.

I take a lot of time to pray,

I send lots of letters his way.

            But I’m a knobs girlfriend, so I do it.

Citadel girls give me quite a fright,

Because of that I must often write.

I hope he is not making foes,

And his hairless head has not froze.

            But I’m a knobs girlfriend, so I do it.

My letters are just a bunch of words,

I doubt he will even read a third.

The school he chose, brings many nightmares,

I hope he knows he’s in my prayers.

            But I’m a knobs girlfriend, so I do it.

I heard from him six days ago,

Just before he had to go.

His bravery just can’t be beat,

His enthusiasm will soon deplete.

            But I’m a knobs girlfriend, so I do it.

With all this sadness, I know I’m a fool,

But I know someday I’ll get used to this school.

I guess it’s a lesson you learn along the way:

If you’re dumb enough to love him, you’re dumb enough to stay.

:) hehe! He has only been at The Citadel for a week so I am nowhere near knowledgeable about this. But I will say this is and will be an interesting season of life! :)

Today was a good day!

So my dad is a writer. He had a book signing today. It was in a bookstore that is more like a warehouse! It is huge and full of new and old books and there are sofas and chairs scattered in random places between shelves so you can go find a little cove and enjoy a good book! It was a lot of fun! I read an interesting book that I will write about soon under In the world not of it. It will be awesome! Blow your mind! Really! :) Plus I worked cows and moved panels in the pasture! Fun fun! :) Overall a good day.
I smell like a cow. But still, a good day!

I Live for my Back Porch View (short story)

(This is not really the view from my back porch but I drive by a house with this view very often and love it very much. I would love to go sit on their back porch! But I thought I needed to work on a short story so why not about a pretty view? It is given from the perspective of one who lives there.)

I Live for my Back Porch View

I live for my back porch view. It is a beautiful view that looks over acres of tree farm and straight towards large, forest covered, hills, so far away they seem blue as the ocean! The distinction between the trees and the sky is hard to define. And yet it fits in its own beautiful way! A beautiful way that seems could only have been spread out by angels. We do not live near mountains and yet this sight reminds me of the beautiful mountainscape’s of North Carolina.

            No matter what my day holds, starting it out swinging on my back porch and enjoying the sight of the early morning mist rolling over the ground. It brings me to a peaceful place where I am alone. Alone with a beauty that is heavenly! Just the sight reminds you that there must be a God for something like this to exist. And a caring and gracious God to allow me to see it everyday! It brings thoughts that, when dwelled upon, bring tears to your eyes.

            Even on my hardest days, with work and the kids trying my patience at every turn, this view brings me joy. It rejuvenates my soul! It lifts me up to see what amazing things my God can do! It fills my spirit with a fire for my God on a daily basis! Not many people get that everyday just from stepping onto their back porch.

So my conclusion of this view is: God must have so much grace for me because I am no where near deserving enough for this daily beauty and He must love me enough to know that it helps me with my daily trials.